how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
