the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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