I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
