I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
...so i touched it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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