Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
