shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Actions speak louder than pants.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
