I hate all girls vehemently.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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