there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
