I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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