Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
