Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
