Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
