You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
