Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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