i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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