You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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