I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
