Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
