I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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