Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
