She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
