I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
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Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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