So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
