I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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