i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
