you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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