return my video game
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
