Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am available for nakedness
Randomize