which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
