I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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