How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You were trust falling into bushes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
