i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
