if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
