you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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