playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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