Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
