would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
