after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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