i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.