I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse