Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do