Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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