Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
