May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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