Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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