my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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