i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
