Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
