Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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