This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
