She's JV to your varsity
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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