I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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