Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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