She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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