If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
