I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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